July 7, 2018

My sister’s son is a disease overachiever: he has severe autism and cerebral palsy and a bonus pack of other maladies that affect various cognitive and motor abilities. Brian cannot eat, go to the bathroom, or take a bath by himself. It’s like he won the Special Kid Powerball. He came to be because at the ripe old age of 21, my sister Valerie married her high school sweetheart. Naturally, they divorced 10 years later [...]

June 30, 2018

When my first book came out, People Magazine said of my mother, “Annihilating and loving by turns, she makes Sophie Portnoy look like June Cleaver.” I think I’m safe to say that this is not the kind of review most mothers stick on the refrigerator. By all rights, she should have turned to me at that moment and, with regards to our relationship, said: “And…SCENE.” I wouldn’t have blamed her. Having your warts exposed for [...]

June 22, 2018

I posted this photo on Facebook for Father’s Day, with a shout out to my endlessly patient Dad, who probably wanted to kill me in my sleep more than a few times. (That’s my sister with us – I’m not contemplating a team change.) The photo prompted my friend Paul to ask, “How come you’re so tall?” To which I replied, “We had a tall mailman.” And it got me thinking: that would really explain [...]

June 16, 2018

Recently, as my new memoir was debuting, some friends asked if I had plans for me to do a book signing at CostCo. I do not. But this raised a whole host of questions for me: Where would the table go? It seems like anywhere you put it in a CostCo, you’re just gonna end up getting banged around by carts filled with watermelons and car batteries. Sure, there’s all those little aluminum stands for [...]

June 10, 2018

Don’t tell my husband, but I think I’m in love with a woman. I was in New York a couple of weeks ago to see my agent, visit some bookstores, and have lunch with an author who blurbed my new book. This author, Judith Newman, is a well-known journalist – a writer for the New York Times and Vanity Fair, a ghostwriter for celebrity bios, etc – and I was lucky enough to have her [...]

June 2, 2018

I had a book reading/signing in Palm Springs last weekend. The reading portion – always my favorite part of any bookstore appearance - went very well. There were laughs and hearty applause from the 80 or so people in attendance, although they did stop short of tucking twenties into my waistband, probably assuming I’d be offended. (I would not.) (Several friends took inappropriate delight in photographing this chalkboard MINUS the "Selected Items" line) “Now [...]

May 25, 2018

I want a TV series. Don’t judge. This isn’t champagne wishes and caviar dreams bullshit. I’m not busy imagining what it would be like to invite friends to my palatial home in the Malibu colony, where my 50 feet of private beach frontage makes them wish I was dead. I’m not spending my days envisioning waving at the cameras as I’m seated next to Spielberg and Oprah at the Oscars. (Even though I’d make sure [...]

May 19, 2018

The first comment friends and family make when they discover that I’m working on a second (or third) memoir, is “Oh, that’s great” - followed almost immediately by the question:  “Am I in this one?” When I mention that they say this almost immediately, I mean literally in the same breath. “OH THAT’S GREAT AM I IN THIS ONE?” No comma, no pause. Really, why bother indicating interest in my artistic goals? Why bother congratulating [...]

Load More Posts