My partner and I were in Vegas this weekend, that bacchanalia of slurpee cocktails and Cirque du Cher. This is not an unusual occurence; he loves gambling and I love the over-the-topness, and since we get free rooms (which, given that he is not even remotely a high roller, should tell you something about the Vegas economy), we go a lot.

We typically stay at the Venetian/Palazzo, or occasionally, the Wynn/Encore. And therein lies the problem. These are glamorous hotels that feature large, suite-like rooms with five star amenities and kill yourself views. (I’m writing this blog post from the comfort of the sectional sofa in the step-down living room of our suite.) And they’re now the standards by which I measure the hotels we stay at elsewhere.

Interestingly, since hotels in other cities rudely require some sort of cash payment in exchange for their rooms (as if this would enhance anyone’s stay) and since I am not made of money, we rarely stay in 5-star hotels outside of Vegas. Which means that I find myself sighing heavily (my partner would call this by another term) when, say, our Hilton hotel room does not have a bathroom big enough to stage a Broadway musical. Or I get into a minor snit (my partner would call this by another term) when our Hampton Inn does not have restaurants by Mario Batali, Daniel Boulud and Alain Ducasse. (Of course, we rarely dine in these eateries in Vegas, either, but they’re THERE.)

I would therefore like to propose that five-star hotels in other vacation destinations consider emulating the Vegas model and begin comping our hotel stays. This would engender considerable loyalty from me and would keep the guests of lesser hotels from having to overhear my cries of anguish when faced with a room that does not have a TV in the bathroom mirror and electronic drapery closure.

I’m only thinking of others.