I found myself watching E News Weekend this morning while waiting for a plumber to install a new garbage disposal and toilet.

 Need I even say that the appliances in question were surprisingly relevant metaphors for the breathless coverage of a host of “superstars” making headlines on E News – stars like Kendra, Kimora, Kourtney & Khloe, and Jon Gosselin.

 We all like to watch people who are dumber than we are, people whose lives are a bigger mess than our own, for that exquisite moment of superiority that only a soundbite from Snooki can bring; but on some new show called “Jerseylicious”, this frosted-poof terror declared, “I like taking advantage of the weak – that’s fun for me.” 

 Exactly how bad do we have to feel about ourselves to set the bar this low?

 My new toilet is installed. Maybe I should try watching that instead. And at least there, if I feel the need to throw up, I’m good to go.