Well, now that I’ve taken your breath away with the very thought of having the perfect home, let’s get to work and RAKE THAT SHAG!

Rake That Shag, you ask? Why is Elaine using the metaphor of shag carpeting maintenance?

Well, truth be told, I first began compiling these tips in the 1970’s…but I find them just as useful today! I live my life like it’s still the 70’s – and you can, too. After all, the 70’s were when the feminist movement truly began to take hold, and women first realized that they can have it all.

So, I’m here to show you how to do just that.

Of course, I’m not excluding my male readers! After all, maintaining a home at Levitz Furniture Showroom levels requires the help of ALL family members, even those who typically spend their time lolling around like inmates in a prison yard.

Just imagine: what could provide more satisfaction than attempting to have complete and utter control over your home environment?

What could bring more joy than mastering the minutiae of life?

Sound too daunting? Don’t think you can manage it?


The handy tips I’ll be proffering will deliver simple yet essential steps for creating a home that will make you the envy of the neighborhood, and have others marveling at your work ethic and wishing you were dead for years to come.

You’re welcome.