Dust Daily – To ensure that all dishes and flatware are free of airborne microbes, simply take an industrial wet/dry vacuum, set it on high, and blow that dust to kingdom come.


This can also be done with husbands.


Polish cabinet facades weekly – Inhale that glorious faux-lemon scent as you Pledge those wood panels into a slick, high-gloss shine. Avoid any cabinets directly above the stove, since oil from the Pledge will cause grease to adhere to them like dollar bills to a stripper.




Train your offspring as barbacks. Just tuck a kitchen towel into the waistband of their Wranglers or fairy princess dress.